During one of my first visits back at my old middle school, I had the opportunity of asking a dear teacher of mine several questions about a stunning yet complex poem. The walk from my high school to her classroom’s back door was slightly intimidating, fore I didn't understand the poem fully myself therefore wasn't sure how I was going to guide this interview. The chilled breeze filled my legs with goosebumps while my face felt like a furnace. As I approached the door, I saw my darling teacher, Ms. Humphrey, sitting at her desk working on her computer. Knocking on the door, I was welcomed into her classroom by her familiar raspy voice. Any insecurities I had about our meeting vanished, as I breathed in her musky scent as she hugged me. The little trinkets around her room had remained the same since I had been there, as well as new ones that she has added throughout the years. The desks were arranged for a Socratic seminar, in a circle that filled the whole room. She brought me over to her desk where she had been sitting and we both sat down.
The first thing we did was catch up on life and ask how each other was doing. But after the small talk had died down, I pulled out the poem and she began to read. She repeated the lines over and over, trying to connect the dots in her mind. The poem is filled with vivid imagery using words that are beautiful but don't make it easy to comprehend its meaning. She started throwing out ideas like the title backside meaning the backside of the moon and the line "Day falls into the leaves like sparkling fish"(Sagawa 3) meaning the setting of the sun. "What do you think of this poem? How does it make you feel?" were my first questions for her. Ms. Humphrey answered, "it confuses me. I can tell it's not a happy poem... it doesn't feel great. There is a depressing, melancholy, dangerous feel to it. I can tell there is a big conflict." We talked about our reactions; comparing them. The first times I read Backside, I felt very confused and knew there was some sort of conflict too. Instead of perceiving it as dangerous and depressing though, all I saw was the beauty in it's imagery. It became very clear to me how this poem is indeed not a happy poem, but a dark and somber one hidden behind exquisite illustrations.
After determining the aura and mood the poem emanates, we tried dissecting it to grasp the hidden true meaning. Together, we restated every line and came up with every possibility there was for its implication. The poem is a riddle and in the time I was sitting at her desk, we were determined to uncover its underlying message. One of us would share an analysis and the other would play off that with a different view. I asked her about the images she liked the most, what she felt the most connection to, and about the symbolism she saw. When the presence of humans are introduced, "Fingers stained with tar from cigarettes/ Caress the writhing darkness."(Sagawa 9-10), she saw symbolism that I hadn't seen before. "Cigarettes are not natural. Our fingers have been soiled with toxicity by our harmful actions. We take care of and encourage, or caress, these detrimental behaviors we have brought into the world," she said.
An hour had past since I had showed up, yet it felt like it had only only been ten minutes. I could have spent the entire day with her, reading the poem over and over again, evaluating every possible aspect. The bell sounded that indicated her student's lunch was over, so it was time for me to leave. The amount of knowledge I felt I had gained sitting at that desk with her was unbelievable. I walked into her classroom that morning with a very elemental understanding of a complex poem, and left feeling like I had the insight of a modernist poetry expert. We both didn't know what to expect from this meeting, but the two of us came to understand this poem on a much deeper level than before.
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