Siddhartha Part 1 Reflection

In the first chapter of Siddhartha, The Son of The Brahmin, Siddhartha and his close friend, Govinda, are introduced. They have grown up learning the ways of the Brahmins, who are the highest class in the Indian caste system. It is clear that everyone  in the village loves Siddhartha, but he although he brings joy to everyone's life, he doesn't feel much joy in himself at all. "...they had already poured the sum total of their knowledge into this waiting vessel; and the vessel was not full, his intellect was not satisfied, his soul was not at peace, his heart was not still," (Hesse 5). Siddhartha wonders if he has learned all that his father and other Brahmins can teach him. He decides to search for a new path that will lead to his enlightenment and chooses the life of the wandering ascetics, the Samanas. Siddhartha and Govinda leave their village in search of them. This leads to the second chapter, With the Samanas. Siddhartha and Govinda dedicate themselves to meditation, fasting, and other methods of rejecting the physical self. "Siddhartha had one goal - to become empty, to become empty of thirst, desire, dreams, pleasure, and sorrow to let the Self die," (Hesse 14). He brought pain to himself and endured it until he no longer felt it, but peace never came to him. After being with the Samanas for quite some time, Siddhartha realizes he is no closer to his goal than he was before joining them. Siddhartha and Govinda hear rumors about a man, Goatama, who has reached enlightenment and is teaching others the way to peace. The two leave the Samanas after Siddhartha hypnotizes the oldest master of the group.

In the chapter, Gautama Siddhartha and Govinda travel to Jetavana where the Buddha is staying. After listening to Gautama speak his doctrine, Govinda announces to Siddhartha that he is going to join the Buddha's discipleship. Siddhartha is happy for Govinda, but tells him he doesn't wish to join. As Siddhartha leaves, he runs into Gautama in the woods and he begins to question the Buddha of his teachings. He expresses his doubt that any teaching can ever provide the learner with the experience of Nirvana, and while Gautama's path may be appropriate for some, he must take his own path. As he leaves, the chapter changes to the Awakening. Siddhartha realizes that a change has overcome him and that he has outgrown all desire for teachers. He is know focused on himself, and unlocking his own secrets. "Truly, nothing in the world has occupied my thoughts as much as the Self, the riddle, that I life, that I am one and am separated and different from everybody else, that I am Siddhartha," (Hesse 34).  "I will learn from myself, be my own pupil; I will learn from myself the secret of Siddhartha," (Hesse 35). This awakening leads to a change in Siddhartha's perception of the world. He before saw the world as a painful illusion, where as now he sees the value in the world. Unlike the Brahmins and Samanas who ignored the amazing diversity around them. This realization sets Siddhartha apart from everything he was before. He is no longer a Brahmin or a Samana nor did he follow Govinda in his decision.  "This, he felt, had been the final shiver of awakening, the final pangs of birth. And at once he began to walk again, striding quickly and impatiently, no longer in the direction of home, no longer toward his father, no longer back," (Hesse 37). Siddhartha is more himself than ever.